THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????
I’m fucking dying
When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
Jesus I envy that relationship.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
i love all of your moms
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
That last story is worth reblogging
IM SO SATISFIED
Isn’t it weird how humans have to drink a clear liquid substance to survive
Katy Perry’s response after being asked to sign a picture of a Grammy Award (Katy doesn’t have any Grammy’s and it’s part of an ongoing joke other fan bases use against her)
this is so rude like wow… i hope that person went home feeling like shit.
me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know
Do twins have the same sized dick?
now we’re asking the real questions
As a twin, I can say my dick is definitely bigger than my sister’s.